I've racked up my fair share of failed relationships
many can relate to some of my stories
inspite of this I still had hope
hope of finding what they called "the one"

I was at the point where I thought
maybe it's all made up
made up to make us girls giggle
get our hopes up
become foolish
I've never been more glad to be proven wrong

He wasn't what I expected
Although I really didn't have much of an idea
what "the one" would look like
but when I had the chance to get to know him
I was pretty sure he was it

I always thought
God would present us our soulmates
in an extravagant fashion
boy was I wrong
Mine came in a simple package
and it was beautiful

More than enough
the best way to describe what I have been given
the proof to what I thought was fantasy
I have never been more grateful

I haven't written in ages.
I'm seriously blocked. Like a clogged drain.
I've got nothing. SIGH
It will come back hopefully

It's mid-year break. Should be able to relax.
Should be able to get it back.
hmm.. Nothing else to do but sit around and wait.
What are you guys up to?

my fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations
i know that I should let go but I can't
- Kate Nash

<3

blah blah
nothing exciting so nothing to write

you're wasted and it makes me sick. but i love you so i'll take care of you. take off your clothes and put you in bed. i hate seeing you this way.




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i want a new acoustic guitar. i have a classical one but i want to buy a new one now. a dean acoustic guitar. i don't know if i should spend money on it or if i should settle for a cheaper brand and upgrade. i don't know. i need opinions but my guitar buddy hasn't been online for like forever so i can't get a second opinion. why is it that whenever my friends need me im always there for them but when i need them they never show up? i feel alone. i feel like i have no friends. this is what moving does to you... does to me. 2 countries in 2 years. no friends. so lonely. "you're such a party girl".. "you're always out" who are you kidding? im not a party girly. i go out but i dont drink and im always back early. well recently i've been out late but still. you sooo don't know me.

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i love Incubus. brandon boyd's voice calms me. i wish i had their latest album. i've been listening to music alot. i don't even know what's happening to project runway. i love that show but i've been in my room too much lately. isolating myself from my family. i barely talk to them and if i do it's about going out with my friends and coming home late. that's why i'd rather not talk to them... it's always about that anyway. i have nothing to talk to them about. only my brother likes my kind of music and i believe i get along with him the most. we're not close though. i wish we were. maybe that way i'd feel connected with my family. i always feel so different like i wasn't meant to be in this family. like i'm too freaky for them. my ideas and ways are way too different for them. i am unique and i don't think they appreciate that. maybe if i were gone nothing would change. they wouldn't notice it and their lives would go on. i have an urge to slash myself and do what my friends do but i refuse to. i won't be a hypocrite. i am smarter than that.

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bitching, ranting whatever you call it.. it's what i do so hate me

I need to take new pics. I will soon. Once the Holidays come and I get myself a second job I'll have enough money to buy a Canon Digital Rebel <3.